They call me Mr Lady 

Ten years ago, my husband and I had a baby.

Correction: Ten years ago, one of us had a baby and the other sat around and watched. Guess which one I am? My name is Mr Lady, and I am the token Mommy Blogger over here. I think I'm supposed to make the dip or bring my hot friends or something. Um, I have three kids. My hottest friend is that chic on the Big Comfy Couch.

I am something of an expert in the father department, truth be told. I mean, I had one. For, like, a long time. And then I made some poor kid be one. And I'm a girl, so I know everything anyway. See? I am SO qualified to be here.

I have been married for almost ten years. To the same man. We have three kids and the stereo-typical 1950's June Cleaver family. He goes to work every day and brings home the bacon. I clean *ahem* and cook *achoo* and wear high heels and little aprons. We even have side-by-side twin beds. I call him Mr Mr Lady and he calls me Mother. Of course, we only do those things when we're sloshed drunk, but still.

In reality, I am a lousy homemaker and that acronym that spells SAM with an H in it. I iron twice a year, cook but never wash up after, make my poor kids scrub the toilets to earn a measly dollar that couldn't even buy them a song on iTunes, I can't sew, I don't own on stitch of lingerie, and I only shave when I have to. See? I'll fit right in here.

Welcome to Stark Raving Dad, where we really love our kids. They're just making us nuts is all.