Woody Pride
Jun 24, 2008 Trixieintransit asks:
My husband whispered to me one morning this weekend as I was changing our son's diaper that someone had another "first" this week. Someone had woken up with a morning woody. And that "someone" wasn't my husband. No. That's right. He was gleefully sharing with me that his off-spring had produced a ..woody. All curious and surprised and dare I say IMPRESSED...he proceeded to ask me which of the toddler girls did I think our son was dreaming about...Our not quite 2 yr old son.
I just ignored him. Maybe elbowed him too. Not sure.
The next thing I know he is telling his friends on the phone. "Good morning! hey. Yeah. Guess what my kid did..."
So here's my question: Do men always announce to the world these kinds of facts? How should I respond in the future?
BusyDad:
WOO HOO!! ROCK ON KID! Get the beer. Where’s the beer? Hell, give the kid a beer! He’s obviously ready. And line up the chicks!
See that? That’s elation. And it’s not even my kid. When that first happened to my son, I almost rented out Hooters for a gala celebration with my drinking buddies to welcome him into our wolfpack.
Let your husband revel in this glory. This is his first validation that this baby thing is a real man in the making. Every father wants to be Mufasa hoisting little Simba up for the entire African plain to witness. That’s pride for you! There is nothing wrong with that.
Because this moment has already passed, let me just prime you for the next ones on the horizon, so that when it happens you can just step back and savor the pure unharnessed joy you are witnessing:
- The first time your son sings one of your hubby’s favorite songs.
- The first time your son reads one of your hubby’s favorite beer or booze labels.
- The first time your son expresses interest in your hubby’s favorite sports team/athlete.
- The first time he defends himself physically.
- The first time he clogs the toilet.
- The first time he belches real loud, on purpose.
- The first time he expresses interest in girls.
- His first hit, goal, touchdown, KO.
There are more, but this should cover you for a few years. Come back in about 7 years for a few more...
Mr Lady:
Well, welcome back, BusyDad, and way to totally answer that. Just because I go a week without a post doesn't mean you have to totally leave me NO FUNNY ROOM. :)
Yes, Trixie, they always make a big deal out of it. They continue to make a big deal out of it until puberty begins to rear it's ugly head, at which point you'll hear a lot of I have to work late tonight's and ums and errrs and When does sex ed start in school exactly's and Have YOU had the talk with him yet's.
What they don't tell you when you have a boy is that from the second he is born, you will sayand hear penis or willy on weinerschnitzle or whatver it is you call it more time than you will inhale. I say you brush up on your high five technique, and brace yourself for the talk you're doomed to have in 10 years.
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Reader Comments (6)
Agree with both of you, as always. In addition to the high fives, its also a good idea to learn how to say "pound it", bump chests (this is better done after the spam javelin has gone away), and "check it, dude....cat couldn't scratch it!"
[BusyDad] Odd creatures, we men. But really, is it fun to be a guy or what?
Totally agreed. There was much pride in seeing my son's first. I think he was just days old.
Last night in the shower he kept playing with it.
[BusyDad] Yup, that stage lasts until... um 36 and counting?
I have to agree with both of you. Our DS has had them forever, and now he plays with it ALL THE TIME. He's 17 months, oh, the little guy next door is almost 2 years old, same thing. Get used to it, embrace it (not literally), and learn to enjoy the pride your husband has in his little prodigy. It'll help you through the nights of "Umm, Errr, I have to work late...."
[BusyDad] Men: setting the bar low (or high?) for achievement.
Thanks for posting my question! Since I mailed the question...the following has happened:
Our son (as the only boy in his class) has begun potty comfort training (pre-potty training) and he's being taught the "ways of the girl." Of course it makes it easier because all the kids are girls except him. My husband in his lone male pride (as the only dad of a son in our group) has just purchased:
The multi-colored (primary colors) adjustable height plastic urinal w/ real life flushing sounds.
He is the envy of every father we know who is son-less. They came together with their bottled beer to assemble it. Then flushed it repeatedly. I am not sure what they were flushing and avoided asking. But they were very pleased with themselves and with the new "toy."
Our son won't officially start potty training for a few more months but when he does..you can be sure he will learn the "way of the man."
:)
Trixie
[BusyDad] DAMN! If I had known about that urinal thing, I would have posted it for my Father's Day ideas!! I want one now.
OK, now I am feeling worried because I don't think we would notice if The Boy had a woody. Like the rest of him, his junk is still rather, er, small. So I guess Mr. Trixieintransit is justifiable in his proudness of penile precocity.
Do you believe I TOTALLY JUST MADE THAT ALLITERATION UP on the spur of the moment!
[Mr Lady] Dude, I love made up alliterations. SO much. On a side note, jsut thought I'd share....My first son was born and my mother in law was the catcher. She was the first person to see him besides my midwife. She takes him in her arms, her first grandson, her baby boy's first son, and with tears in her eyes says, "Oh my god, he's hung like a horse."
Yes, those were truthfully the first words spoken at his birth. I should have made that my reply....it's not just dad's that do it. Little old grannies do, too.
Your advice will surely last through the ages. 'The first time he clogs the toilet.' Will be the day my boy learns to clean the bathrooms by himself.
My boy just oozed out four weeks ago and he's allready showed off his woody. I tried to have a discussion with him about proper usage of his tool, but I don't think he was interested. Very disapointing.
Although I didn't tell anyone. I think perhaps I will let my Lilly discover it on her own, that way she can either: be scared to death and scream from not expecting to see that so soon, or cry because of realizing her little baby has now become a man.
I've been pondering what to ask you two, but can't seem to come up with anything worthy of asking yet. I'm sure the next few months of exhausting baby care will prove rather enlightening for me. Untill then.