in 
Grooming
Grooming Sunday
06Jul
Just One Thing
Jul 6, 2008 Today, we have having a little Testosterone party here at Stark Raving Dads! Matt, who writes at RedSparks blog and also has a line of premie clothes that are TO DIE FOR offered us his soul his mad bloggin' skilz for a day. How could we refuse? And so, boys, take it away....
Ashley writes:
If you could name just ONE thing that a wife/mother should take the time (what's that) to take care of (having to do with) their own personal appearance, what would it be? Yes, you each have to choose just ONE.
Would it be for them to put makeup on, workout, wax their eyebrows, shave their legs, get dressed up, fix their hair, or something else? And, explain...
Matt:
Ashley, this is a great question. I'm going to take the easy route. I'm not really a butt man or a boob man (well, OK, I sort of am). I am a self-confidence man. Nothing is sexier to me than a woman who exudes an air of confidence. So, basically, I think its important for a woman to do the thing that makes her feel better about herself. It is SO easy to put that stuff on the back burner after having children. Its too expensive, or there's just not enough time. But moms really need to focus on those things, make time and do them. Whether its nails, hair, tanning...whatever. Men can tell when their wives aren't feeling great about themselves and, in my opinion, it can be a turnoff sometimes.
That being said, and to get back to actually answering your question, for me its wardrobe. Moms work hard...real hard. And they deal with spit up and poop and snot and God knows what else. For that reason I think it becomes really easy for them to slip into the sweatpants/T-shirt rut. This bugs me. You know how some guys' eyes sometimes wander at a restaurant or at the mall, right? Well, an easy way to avoid that is to put the cozys back in the drawer for special occasions and go hit the mall. I'm not talking about spending a fortune, either. Just go ballistic at Target once in a while. Buy a pink ruffle bottom tank and some sunglasses. Pick up a green ribbed wife beater and a pair of beige cargo shorts. Or how about a new nice cerulean blue keyhole top and a nice comfy pair mid-rise twill pants? The key is to buy enough stuff on the cheap that so you don't care if a particular item gets ruined. That way, wives look great to their husbands, and feel better about themselves in the process.
BusyDad:
Wow, Matt. There's a reason why you are running an apparel business and I am not. Cerulean blue? I can't even front. I am clueless about clothing. So my answer will be completely different. If I could choose just one thing, it would be working out. Hands down. I am a total "A for Effort" kind of guy. If someone puts the effort in to do something, it means a ton more to me than anything else could. Because effort is hard. Effort takes perseverence. Effort takes giving a shit. And to me, nothing is hotter than giving a shit.
You can easily plunk down a credit card and get a haircut, get waxed and get some new clothes. It's not painful. It's actually kind of fun. But to trudge to the gym between picking up the kids, preparing dinner and getting them to bed in one piece is something that requires dedication. To sweat it out and endure a little pain when you could be decompressing in front of the TV requires willpower and committment. It shows that you aren't going to give up just because you have a perfect excuse to do so. It shows that you aren't happy simply resting on your laurels.
Sure, most moms don't have their pre-pregnancy bodies. But that's irrelevant. I think I speak for most husbands when I say that the mere fact that you care enough about yourself and how you look to try to get it back speaks volumes. Kind of like the guy who spends all day trying to figure out how to roast a chicken for his date. It may taste like rosemary-infused cardboard, but he gets all the "awwww" points when his girlfriend retells the story. Effort is appreciated and it goes a long way. So go forth and cardiobox! We'll stay home and burn the chicken.
View Printer Friendly Version
Email Article to Friend
Reader Comments (14)
Dang!!! Matt was so close on this one!
But alas, OhCaptain ain't a clothing guy.
I'm all about the attitude. Sexy women are confident and know who they. They don't look at their shirt and say "Do my boobs look good in this shirt?" Nothing turns me off more then a woman fishing for compliments. Your boobs look great without anything on them. Geez.
Now, that's not to say that what BusyDad said is wrong. I at least want to know you are trying not to make me think that Jabba the Hut was on the fashion edge. But if you like who you are, the rest just always seems to be there.
If OhCaptain had his way, the one thing that women should change would be to ditch the vanity and move into the world of I am who I am and that's all that I am. If you like you, I'll like you.
I love a woman who is independent. Don't get me wrong, I love when my wife acts like she loves me and shows affection, but I also love it that my wife is a strong, self-sufficient woman. We do a lot of things for each other, but there is no burdensome dependence in our house. To me, that takes a lot of pressure off of a relationship and helps it to flourish and grow more naturally. Great topic and great answers!
Matt, I have never been so attracted to a man in my whole life. "A nice cerulean blue keyhole top"? It's no wonder you're not single. :)
Both of you: I am officially glad you will never meet me in person. That's all I'm saying about that.
OhCaptain: Does this comment make my butt look big?
What can I say? Chicks dig cerulean blue.
Just want to add that I agree completely that the fishing for compliments thing can be a pain at times, but I also think that a little vanity is a positive thing. I appreciate it when my wife takes the time to get dolled up once in a while, and I think she appreciates it when I do the same. For us, it helps keep us attracted to one another, and even makes things a bit more exciting.
Damn... now all I can think about is... "I really DID look fat when I met BD and he thought so too!!!" Wahhh.
Its ok... some MEN like a little bit more lady... :-D
I'm going to get in between on this one. I know what Cerulean Blue is and Sugarmomma just brought home a Keyhole Top but it has a bit more of a Pucci-esque print on it.
The one thing would be Action. Don't whine, whatever the thing is that makes you feel lame, do something about it, as opposed to complaining and drawing attention to something that you are probably the only one buggin' about. That said, Nothing is sexier than a genuine smile, a cool T-shirt, and jeans that are "well loved".
Rock it like you Own it.
Big Bad Daddy - *whispering* Dude...what are you doin' man? Pucci? You're trashing my game!
Great question, Ashley, and love the answers, guys! Definitely food for thought!
Matt - *whispering back* I can bring it all day long.
I love the "Green is the new Black" T. Did you see this T ?
SugarMomma work at the Children's Hospital here so she's around the preemie's all the time. That's a very cool thing you and Aline are doing.
NINE comments? I quit. Matt gets the job.
Mr Lady - It doesn't count when like six of them are me!
BBD - Thanks, man. I did see that on your site a while ago. Its a very cool idea...like it a lot.
Thanks guys.
Matt - once again (because people keep saying) WOW. I'm incredibly impressed by your clothing knowledge lol.
BD - A is for effort. lol. Cool, carrying the kid (that weighs a quarter of me) up and down a couple flights of stairs counts as cardio, right? I know what you mean.
Hi,what great answers! I have a question I need answered by some of the dad bloggers out there. Stop by my latest blog and let me know what you think!! Have a great day!
I'm all about the plain stuff - I actually kind of freaked out on the first real date with my now-wife when she put on lipstick.
I think it goes to the confidence thing. If she was confident in the way she looks, she would have realized that I don't need all of that other stuff.
(disclaimer, we met at, worked at and married at a summer camp. makeup was kind of a no-no in our world, so it was really a big change for me!)